hard to leave.........

Last night it was hard to leave - always hard to leave - but especially last night......................................

His blood levels were going down again and they just couldn't get his heart rate to go down below 140 and that wasn't good. Naomi his nurse said that they didn't like it up there and they might need to give him more blood.

I called this morning and she said that they didn't give him blood, but 2 more liters of fluid, and they also had to give him more pain meds. I had told her last night that he is like me in this area and if the bottle says 2 then 3 is better - he is such a big boy.

I had thought that today they were going to "leave him alone", but they are taking him in at 12:30 to work on his right hand. I don't know exactly what this means - I don't think surgery - but reset and a cast perhaps. I have learned that you don't really know anything about times, and what is happening when, until it's done.

I cling to the positives of yesterday, but am reminded that he is NOT yet out of the woods.

Last night as I rested my cheek on his face he turned his face up against mine - I felt his love. Randy says it's important I stay strong around Nathan and so far - even in moments like this, God allows me to contain the tears until I walk out of the room - but trust me - JUST out of the room!

Randy left last night to go work - unfortunately money is still necessary in this life - even more so now. I talked with him this morning and he says it's nice being home and is glad to give Em a hug, but he feels like it's not where he needs to be. He has been my steady rock, voice of calm AND reason :-) and reminding me that God is God of all things and has brought our family to this point for a reason. Randy's faith is amazing to me - it's just like Randy is - strong, steady and unwavering. I praise the Lord for the gift of my husband.

More updates today from me - more prayers from you...................(My friend Susi shared this scripture with me - what a blessing)

Psalm 95

"Come, let us sing for joy to the Lord; let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation.

Let us come before Him with thanksgiving and extol Him with music and song.

For the Lord IS THE great God, the great King above all gods.

In His hand are the depths of the earth, and the mountain peaks belong to Him...

......................................and so does my Nathan!